I gave up eating beef and pork in the seventh grade. Other than an occasional craving for a McDonald’s Quarter-Pounder with Cheese, I don’t regret it. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a difficult adjustment.
Hi there, reader. You’d better sit down for this. I have something to say that will rock you to your very core.
I haven’t eaten peanut butter in over two decades.
I’ll give you some time to collect yourselves. Mop up the drink you spit out as you were reading that. Pick up your phone and make sure you didn’t crack the screen when you dropped it. If the person who’d be reading this fainted, please, person who has picked up their phone, put some smelling salts under their nose or throw water on their face or something.
Are you back? Okay, good. Let’s continue.
